Monday, October 17, 2005


Bob Geldof, w@nker though he is, was right

Mondays are truly rank.

You've just started relaxing, had a nice bit of roast dinner, a glass or two of wine to accompany, spot of pudding and then it hits you - 'b0ll0cks, i've got to get up for work in the morning'. It always spoils my Sunday night.

Now, I'm not leaving out people who work shifts. Generally they will have a couple of days off a week as well, so feel free to substitute Sunday with the day before you go back to work.

I also think that productivity figures, across the UK, for a monday morning must be very low. You come in, usually late, chat to the folks in the office about their weekend, what/who they did, what they watched etc. Then you send out a few emails on the same subject, then head for a cup of tea. You get back, sit and drink your tea reading the email replies. You then hit a few web-sites, finding out about any news and sports stories that happened over the weekend.

By that time it's probably the the back of 11, so it's too late to start anything before lunch, so it's a few phone calls to catch up with people, a few more emails, a few more web-sites and another couple of cups of tea. It's lunch time, so you head off for a sandwich and a walk round the shops, maybe buy the cd or single of that tune you heard in the pub.

Back to the office, stick the CD in the PC and listen to it a couple of time, let a couple of people in the office borrow it so they can listen it then chat to them about how good it is. Quick surf of the net to see what else the band has done and see whats happened in the world whilst you've been away.

Finally, about 2 o'clock, you start your work.

The problem with trying to eradicate this from the UK workplace is that people always have to come back to work, regardless of what time off they have. People always come back and want to chat to other people about what they've done.

Long may it continue

My job is shit; I work for two organisations (one job, allegedly), so it means my working week is crammed into a couple of days at either site. I have to get in and get on with it while the other bastards are talking about their lame weekends. I'm supposed to do a week's worth of work in 2 or 3 days + attend and contribute to meetings. I spent over 4 hours in meetings today alone. I bloody hate work.
i once read about a job i quite fancied - Jennifer Lopez's nipple tweaker. Apparently the job was to tweak her nipples during breaks in filming her music videos to ensure they stayed erect and pointy, so you could see them through her clothes.

I reckon I could get out of bed for that ?
I could manage that sort of job, but not with her, she's vile.
Surely not - high maintenance and very diva-ish I will grant you, but not vile.

She perhaps doesn't have the most pleasant personality ever, but she is cracking to look at !
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