Wednesday, August 17, 2005


Always time for another beer

The fact the Scotland has the Thistle as it's national emblem is indicative of us as a race. Obviously, God was handing out the national flowers at the dawn of time and the Scotsman, Englishman and a Welshman decide to head to the pub and until the appointed time. They have a few pints and chasers and the appointed time duly arrives. "Right" says the Englishman "it's time, let's go". "B*gger off, we're drinking" say the Scotman and the Welshman. So, the englishman toddles off and queues up properly, as the English are wont to do. He gets to the front of the queue and says "Excuse me Sir, but I'll have the rose". As such, the rose becomes the emblem of England, due to the English love of queuing to get what they want.

A couple of hours later - "Right" says the Welshman "we'd better go". "There's plenty of time, I'm having another drink" says the Scotman. So, off goes the welshman and queues up. He gets to the front of the queue and says "Not much left, but give me the daffodil". As such, the daffodil becomes the emblem of Wales, as the Welsh like a drink, but will eventually fall into line.

Eventually closing time arrives and the scotsman thinks " Look at the time, I'm in trouble, I'd better be off". So, off he staggers, but there's no queue and no flowers left. So he walks straight up to the God and says "haw big man, whit you got left?". "I've nothing left, you're too late" says God. "What about that big pile of scraggly jaggy sh*te over there" replies the Scotsman. "Those are Thistles and heather, they're for the bin" says God

"How much are they?"


"Gies one of each!"


Thanks to Danny Bhoy at the Assembly Rooms the other night for that one

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